She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
