omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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