Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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