I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
and she was petting her beer can
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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