im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
