hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
