did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
