I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize