Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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