I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
my liver is dry heaving
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
