i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
