I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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