big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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