I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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