I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Randomize
