Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
