Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
