Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
