Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
