there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Dear god my vagina.
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