I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize