I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
