i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
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