I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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