I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
