She is in my trunk
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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