I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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