So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize