new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
