I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
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