Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
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That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
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She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
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