I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize