Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You don't make any sense
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