You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
