I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize