You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
