Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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