make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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