He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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