i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
