allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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