This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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