did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize