it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
