Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
