I just made out with a guy for $7.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
