I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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