508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
There's always time for handjobs
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
