my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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