What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
50% drunk capacity currently
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
