WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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