Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
