After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
