Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You dont lie about slip and slides
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
