1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize