just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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