WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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