If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
