remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Vodka?
Forever.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize