Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
