I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I am available for nakedness
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
