the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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