Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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