Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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