What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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