when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
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So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
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Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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