The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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