boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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