After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
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